Le Journal de M.Câlin - The Hugger Busker's Journal - 04 - 06, 2005

The Interview

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 30 Jun 2005 23:08:00 -0700

Tis a perfect day to be cheerful and kind!

I have not been seeking out publicity for what I do because I always thought that when the time is right kind of journalist will find me, someone who understands that there is more to news then tragedy and politics. Brian Britt from CFCF TV came by today to do a profile on me. It was a lovely afternoon and I was in good spirits. It was a lot of fun to do and I think that it will end up being a cheerful and inspiring piece. There were even 30 or so school children who came by for a big group hug. The cheerful energy and fun generated from a group hugs always leaves everyone involved bursting with joy and walking away beaming, me included.

In the evening I went down to my spot in the Old Port. Again it proved to be quite a invigorating experience. The crowd that gathers around me seems so much more receptive and I feel a difference in the quality of the hugs that I share. I am beginning to really like the closeness of the people as they gather around to watch. There is something different about performing in that area, I am inspired somehow. Utter calm and an inner stillness would engulf me for the briefest of moments. It was very similar to what I experience at Vipassana retreats or when I was meditating in the desert a few years ago. Those were times when I, all too briefly, when my mind would settle into profound stillness while remaining complete aware of my state of being. Time seemed to stop and space would evaporate into me and me to it. Of course then I would try to possess the experience and it would vanish. Ah, the struggles of a grasping mind and controlling ego that every serious meditator is familiar with.

A Chorus of Angles

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:22:00 -0700

Not long after setting up I heard a chorale group near by practicing their singing. A few chaperons and some young women form this group came to hug me, as did one of the organizers. She then asked if her artists could sing for another artist, me. I was touched by this wonderful offer and readily accepted. As I went back to standing in stillness, with my arms outstretched, the accompanying adults formed a large semi circle in the space in front of me. Then from behind me I was graced with the most sublime and uplifting version of Alleluia that I had ever heard. Angelic voices filled the square. These were angles sent to fill my being with love and grace and to remind me that I too am worthy of the unconditional love of strangers. These young singers touched my heart so deeply that tears streamed down my face. I was experiencing one of those all too rare moment in life where the exquisite beauty of God, reveals itself in all its glory. When they finished I turned to thank them but my emotions with in me were so strong that I could not get even one word out. With tear filled eyes I simply bowed to them with reverence and humility. Then I returned to my stillness waiting for a hug.

These were singers from the Amadeus Chorale. Many of them came to share a hug with me afterwards. I feel so blessed to receive such sublime and deeply moving experiences. I believe more then ever that one reaps what one sows. I am so happy that I have chosen to sow love into the world.

The Porn Star

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 26 Jun 2005 21:25:00 -0700

A porn star came by to hug me to day. I have hugged several times in the past, last the fall at the Salon Exotica and again in February at the Salon of Love and Seduction where I was invited to give hugs. She is a very sexy and sensual woman but she always tries to rub herself up against me like a purring kitten. As Martin I thoroughly enjoy being embraced sensually by a beautiful woman but as the Hugger Busker it makes me mighty uncomfortable, because there is no place for sensuality or eroticism in the genuine, heartfelt hugs that I give. My hugs are about promoting the sharing of unconditional love and tenderness between two human beings, nothing more. I suppose it is the only way that she knows how to express love and affection through her sexuality. I think this hyper sexed, overtly sensual, media influenced society of ours the line between human affection and sexual affection has been severely blurred. This is why many of us are hesitant to touch a stranger or be touched affectionately by a stranger for fear that the action be misinterpreted as something sexual. I sense this influence even in some of the men who say to me Oh no I dont hug men, only women, or If you were a woman , maybe Id hug you, but youre a man.

The Manicure

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 25 Jun 2005 23:36:00 -0700

Ahh! Fire works night.

This is the first time that I have gone down to play in the Old Port, during the fireworks. I was worried that I would feel uncomfortable in a large crowd. But it was quite wonderful. I enjoyed it because so many people were receptive. Since I am directly at the crossing point of two paths I get all the traffic coming and going. The people are much closer in proximity to me here then up in the square. There is something very stimulating, even exhilarating about performing in a crowd. I am definitely going to return here for all the fireworks.

One very strange event occurred. A man walked up to me and after observing me very closely for a few minutes pulled out a nail clipper from his bag and proceeded to very carefully clip my nails. With a crowd looking on I maintained stillness through out my manicure. When he finished he dusted off my hat and I gave him a hug which he reluctantly accepted. It was I must say a very odd experience.

People tend to take a lot of liberties with me that they would never dare take with another person. I wonder why. I think that from now one I will ask people why they feel that they have the right to touch, fondle, prod and poke me with out asking.

Saint Jean Baptist

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 22:34:00 -0700

Celebrate this day with loveing kindness!

Today was a day to celebrate Saint Jean Baptist day Quebecs major holiday. There was the usual noon time parade of decorated floats, dancing troupes, marching bands and hand-gladding politicos on the street right behind me. The square was filled with revelers from morning till night. There were so many hugs given and happy smiling faces around, It was delightful to experience this. I just love these days of none stop activity. I was exhausted after a 12 hour day but totally fulfilled and happy.

I have begun exploring new ways to engage the public especially when there is a crowd around me watching my stillness and waiting for some one to step up and hug me. After giving a hug instead of resuming my still position I simply stand still for a moment and look at all the people around smiling and making eye contact. Then I open my arms, find my stillness and wait for the next person to come. I found that establishing this eye contact allows for a more personal experience with the audience and the arte less intimidated by the strangeness of my immobility. I hope to alleviate the shyness that many people have. It is a direction that I will continue to explore.

Mugged Hugging

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 23:53:00 -0700

So I found myself down in the old port again. I am beginning to really like the energy there. I set myself up by the large steel anchor, which is the cross roads for people entering and leaving the Old Port to Place Jacque Cartier. The evening is good it is cooler and people are more receptive. It is still terribly hot and muggy though not as bad as the last two days.

Well the hugger gets mugged hugging. I had my nice handkerchief lifted today by some one I hugged. Why some one would do this I do not know but it happened. It is odd because this morning I had a premonition that I should pin my kerchief to the inside of my vest pocket or I might lose it and I didnt listen to my intuition.

My intuitive sense is becoming stronger again as I find myself thinking of someone or something that I would like to happen and with in a day or so it happens. It was like that last summer. I seemed to have stopped listening to my intuition over the winter and so lost touch with my inner guide now that I am more receptive to it I hope that I have the wisdom and discipline to nurture this gift.

Under the Spot Light

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:28:00 -0700

I explored several different spaces on the Old Port grounds to see which would be best for me. I settled on two, both near the entrance Jacques Cartier Pier, which is down the hill from where I am usually. The first spot is at a crossroads, next to a huge steel anchor and the other is in the very middle of the main pedestrian road about 30 feet from the anchor.

It was so bloody hot and terribly humid today. I thought I was going to evaporate standing facing the sun all day. But I got through it. In spite of the heat many people came for hugs. Sometimes when it is too muggy people just dont want to be touched let alone hugged. Haaaaa! I know just how they feel.

I got myself a spot light to work at night. It works really well casting quite a striking image with me standing in the middle of a large open, cobble-stone street, with my cases and long flowing coat and hat. The image of the solitary traveler waiting to be embraced by a long lost loved one. It makes for a very romantic tableau. With the Cirque du Soliel crowds coming to and from the shows who pass by me, it makes for a very interesting experience. The lead singer in the new Cirque show came by for a hug and we chatted for a bit. She was very sweet. Unfortunately I did not get to see the show. Hummmm! I am thrilled to be doing that I am doing at this point in my life.

Gang Banger Cars

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:40:00 -0700

Well I was right not to trust a promoters promise. They did not remove me from my spot but they erected a very large tent filled with hydraulic gang banger cars, playing hip hop four feet in front of me. Now on one can see me and the promoter couldnt care less, as he told me that it was his event and that his cars were more important then my hugs. So there you have it. I could still give my hugs but if no one knows that I am there then what is the point.

I decided to put up some signs on the trees on each side of the square advertising Free Hugs and did get some people to stop by, but it was just not working out. So I pack up and head down to the Old Port where I also have a permit to play. It is a good thing that Jade my partner insisted that I get the Old Port permit even if it was much more expensive then the City permit.

The Old Port has worked out really well for me. I had my permit since may but I was hesitant to perform down here at first because I had to face the sun and I thought that the space was to open around me. I was also concerned that there might be too many people, as I have an aversion to large crowds. It was a good day after all. So I guess that I will spend this weekend busking in the Old Port.

Grand Prix Weekend

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:41:00 -0700

As I arrived today I saw that they had begun to prepare the Square for the Grand Prix of Canada Celebration. A stage had been built in the center and banners hawking beer, cars and other sundries were being draped over every conceivable place. I am worried that they will evict me from my spot in lieu of some fancy cars as I see they have done with the center of the square. I had heard talk that this might be the case.

There was a press conference launching the Grand Prix at City Hall across the street this afternoon and some of the event organizers came by to assure me that my presence was welcome for their event and that my performance space would not be disturbed. I did not hold my breath as I notice that all the other performers had been banished from their spots on the square for the entire weekend. It is amazing how the city treats it performers. On one hand trumpeting, in every travel brochure the wonderfully diverse and entertaining street performers of Old Montreal and on the other hand displacing us like used furniture when ever it suits their needs and even treating us as if we were some sort of necessary disturbance. The politicians have been trying to get rid of street performers for years now continually limiting our performance spaces, censoring our acts, and soon by raising our performance permits by such exorbitant amounts that no artist will be able to afford to perform in on the Square. It is a real shame.

Gratitude

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:51:00 -0700

I am grateful to all those who wrote today with encouraging words. The comments I receive in my guestbook and from my journal are very inspiring to me. It reminds me that there are many people out there who really care about what I do. All of you who have shared a hug with me or sent words of encouragement, your tenderness and concern continues to nurture loving kindness within me. I have let go of the strong emotions that beset me yesterday and have found a renewed desire to continue

Thank you!

I went for a few hours today inspite of the rain and I enjoyed myself. I am happy for that.

An Angry Hugger

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 21:08:00 -0700

Take Delight in sharing the beauty of your humanity!

Well I was face with and expressed the ugly side of humanity today and am in a very sour mood right now. These are the times when I really wonder why I even bother trying to make others happy. Went home early, just had enough with the stupidity and disrespect of some people. A high school group from Toronto kept harassing me, one boy even threw French fries in my face to see if I would move. I reacted with anger and yelled obscenities at him before grabbing his fries from him and throwing them in the trash. He ran off in fright. His friends hung around pestering me for the next hour with inane questions and coming for fake hugs and then running off when I tried to hug them. I then became quite annoyed with the whole group and refused to hug any of them. It really ruined the rest of the day for me. Try as I may I could not reconnect with the inner peacefulness and loving that I need to give heartfelt hugs. I was standing there being an angry hugger so I thought it best to packed up and leave before I say something nasty to an innocent.

I do not like getting angry, but sometimes it is stronger them me. It is in these moments, when my patience has worn thin that my edginess emerges. I have an aggressive side that I have tamed over the years, but it does come out every once in a while especially when I am vulnerable or very tired and I sense that someone is being abusive or mean. I am going to sit with this a bit and see how I feel tomorrow, a good nights rest will no doubt appease me.

A Perfect Time

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 19:42:00 -0700

Now is the perfect time to share in lifes wonders

To simply share of ones time for the pleasure and betterment of ones self and/or anothers can be a very nurturing and beautiful experience. To take the time to see, hear, feel, sense and appreciate what is within us and around us right now. I marvel at the simplicity of existence, of being alive. It is so easy for me to get lost in the spiraling thoughts and sensations that continually flow trough me. I forget where I am, how I am, what I am. I am a sensorial being that evolves through the recognition of sensation. To just be here, in the Now is so difficult yet the brief moments where I finally surrender to just being are uplifting. In that briefest of moments the weight of my world is lifted from my heart allowing me to soar into the embrace of God.

Golf & The Tree People

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 04 Jun 2005 20:43:00 -0700

May your actions inspire love in the world!

There are times when I get bored just waiting for people to come by or hear the same questions from people over and over again so I try to find ways to keep what I am doing fresh, for myself and for those who come to me. So today I spontaneously began giving people I hugged off the wall words of wisdom. Bathing in mango juice will help improve your golf game, Eating cheerios with while counting backwards from 1000 will help you see into the past, "The Tree People have found there way our of the forest." and so on. It was a silly experiment that certainly got a group of teens who came by taking and scratching their heads in wonderment. After a while I decided that it just made me seem like a nut case and took away from the beauty if the hugs, so I stopped. I am continually looking for ways to keep me creatively stimulated. I must be careful not to fall into the trap of doing the same trick or joke over and over again just because it works. That is creative death as far as I am concerned and leads to the fear of failing and eventually bitterness. I have seen that happen to many a street performer/artist.

Public Meditation

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 03 Jun 2005 19:46:00 -0700

Dont try to understand, just follow your heart!

I have decided to take a real meditation break at around 4pm. I write Back in 15 mins on my board roll up my ma t and sit on it. I place my shoes next to me, my donation pot and guest book in front of me I open my umbrella, lower my hat over my eyes and sit in silence for about 30 minutes. Itg is wonderfully restful. Doing this allows me to re-energize myself. I dont know how it looks from the outside but it feels great. I have wanted to explore public meditation since last summer but never have until now. I am glad that I am finding the courage to reveal myself so much in public., meditation has always been a very private act for me as is my spiritual practice. Though I do reveal a great deal of my self through hugging I am not completely transparent.

Documentary Proposal

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 02 Jun 2005 18:21:00 -0700

A loving People makes for a peaceful society!

Finally I sent out several proposals for my documentary on The Hugger Busker to several film companies today and even had a introductory meeting with a producer. I am pleased with the proposal it is very professional and has a lot of merit. I just hope that that it attracts the right people. I want to create this project with others who believe in what I am doing and understand my vision. I am excited by the thought of doing a professional documentary. I think that it will be a good transition for me to go from performer to filmmaker. God willing I am up for the challenge.