Le Journal de M.Câlin - The Hugger Busker's Journal - 09 - 12, 2004

Hold Me Forever

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 19 Sep 2004 21:34:00 -0700

Living becomes an amazing experience when we choose to embrace it!

It has been a very nice weekend. I truly feel at home in Old Montreal not only as Martin but also as the Hugger Busker. I enjoyed a very receptive audience today. That culminated into a powerfully energizing group hug of about 30 university students. Again one will hesitantly come for a hug at the insistence of the others and then return to them with his reaction which was This was the best hug Ive ever had in my life This must have been a meeting point because others would arrive and join one of the two groups that had settled on the benches on either side of me. The new arrivals would be told to go and get a hug. And they would come and walk away amazed. Eventually they all came for hugs and some several times. One girl asked me to hold her forever. I gave here a very long tender hug. Several of the young men wanted long hugs as well and I complied. At one point the flow had stopped, I was again in stillness and they were each in their groups on either side of me. I was not certain at this point if they were together but I thought the energy is right for a giant group hug. So I boldly walked to the center of the Square and asked if they were all part of the same group, they were, so I invited them to do a group hug. Their enthusiasm was overwhelming they all ran to me simultaneously and surrounded me into a tight huddle. We all shouted with joy and as the shouts abated and silence set in I said to them This is a defining moment in your day, remember it. Some returned for more individual hugs and slowly they all left with an excited glow about them.

I was quite moved by the genuineness of their hugs and the sincerity of their appreciation for the hugs that they received. To watch them hug each other afterwards even the young men between each other. It was beautiful to watch. It is these moments that make me realize how my actions affect others in a very direct and tangible way. This is quite a welcome change from the reception I received Downtown. A beautiful and uplifting weekend it was.

This week will be a busy one on Wednesday I am acting in a docu-drama about slavery on sugar plantations in 1780 and on Friday I am throwing myself a birthday party. If the weather is warm and sunny this week I will go busking at that square from 12 to 6pm.

Team Spirit

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 18 Sep 2004 19:33:00 -0700

For those who cant afford to buy happiness!

Ahhh, Shooting day! I am excited there is good energy in the air and besides I am back on my Square in Old Montreal. The energy is so much better here. It is festive and vibrant, with a breeze of serenity that flows through.

We captured some wonderful moments on video. The best was a monumental Cinnamon Roll Hug with a team of 20 or so cross-country runners from Massachusetts. At first they came up one at a time as usual with a lot of hesitancy then as they realized that I was really giving heartfelt hugs with no strings attached they all began to come. I had the feeling that this would become a giant group hug, which it very quickly did. However I proposed to them that I show them the Cinnamon Roll Hug which they were very keen on doing. So we did it. It was quite a joyful experience.

This group of athletes were awesome they really appreciated the experience. Their coach showed us the t-shirt he was wearing. It had the team motto written on it There is NO AWKWARD hug for a team. Again I am amazed at how these magical moments have been brought to me while we were filming. I offer my gratitude to God for all these delightfully touching moments. I hope that the film will be as uplifting to those who watch as it is to us who have participated in it. I have had a happy day.

Downtown is a Bust

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 16 Sep 2004 21:11:00 -0700

To rush sadly through life or to stop and embrace its beauty! Its your choice!

I was downtown at 11am on this warm sunny day. The streets were relatively quite for a Thursday morning. I place myself in front of the Montreal Trust building, away from the mad artist on the corner. I was not in the mood to deal with him today. Anyway we were suppose to shoot sequences of my documentary later this afternoon to capture some of the downtown energy. As the trickle of pedestrians grew so did the beggars, peddlers, preachers and artisans. I found myself one of many who lined the side walk plying their wares. There was every thing from Your name on a grain of rice!, to bottle cap jewellry, to painted photographs of the city, to God Will Save You!, to toothpaste babes, to pitiful beggars, to legless veterans and finally me with my heartfelt hugs. There we were all of us on the same sidewalk side by side vying for the attention of people who were hurried, harried and hungry to fill an insatiable inner void with material pleasures.

As I looked around at one point I realized that there was so much going on to attract peoples attention and wallets, with all the store windows, billboards, street hawkers and such that to many I just became another guy trying to con them out of a dollar with a sentimental concept. What made me sad and angry as well was that most of those that passed me by looked so sad and weary, with eyes downcast and shoulders bent forward. I just wanted to shout at them, to shake them to wake them up so they would just stop for a moment and really see the beauty of this day. I really wanted to hug all these unhappy people who just refused to acknowledge let alone give in to their need of tender loving. As a person said to me once If I hug you I might just break down and weep and I cant allow myself to do that. What a sad state many of us are in. Though Downtown is where hugs are most needed as I can not satisfy my creative or financial needs there. I was beginning to feel like a hawker of hugs and I did not like that at all. One bright spot was that my sweet friend Rosy happened by and lifted my spirits as she always does.

My Downtown experience was not successful at all. In six hours I gave 10 hugs and made barely enough to buy lunch. The response has been this dismal each time I have tried it here so I have decided to forget about offering hugs downtown and find a more receptive crowd.

Invisible Strings

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 12 Sep 2004 20:28:00 -0700

If I make you smile or laugh or feel good then share it with others!

How we act or react towards others as we go about our daily lives is important. Not only to our own peace of mind but to shaping our society as a whole. Offering a smile, a laugh or friendly gesture to others, for no other reason then to make them feel good as well is what makes for a meaningful living. At least that is how I like to approach my life. Being a professional observer of human nature I have witnessed and experienced first hand the echo effect that one individuals words, actions or attitude has on the others. It is direct and immediate even if it is on a very subtle level. That is why I delight in the concept of spontaneous acts of loving kindness. The sharing of unconditional love in a very public setting is fascinating yet disconcerting for many of us. We are so used to have invisible strings attached to the love that we give or receive that to receive love with out expectation or attachments is quite normal. How unfortunate but we are the products of the society we have chosen to embrace. It is always up to each of us individually to seek out the changes that we need to heal and nurture our being and our soul.

It is not that we live in a loveless society it is that we have become too weary and even fearful of our capacity to love.

The Homage

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 11 Sep 2004 21:18:00 -0700

Changing my world one hug at a time!

The video footage that was shot so far has turned out ok. I am pleased with the content that was captured, though the quality of image and sound does not meet the professional standards that I had hoped for. This footage will at least make for a decent demo. I'll be shootinig a lot of setups today. my walk from my loft through the streets of the Old City going to Place Jacques Cartier was one of the main shots. Then up at my performance spot setting up my chalkboards and suitcases for the day. It was a lot of fun. it was guerrilla filmmaking at its finest. Shoot what you can and run to the next set up before anyone knows that you were shooting.

There were two wonderful moment that that only providence could provide. First a young woman who had passed by me a week before came looking for me to offer me a poem or homage that she had written for me. It was a very moving moment. A short while later a marvelous woman, who was wheelchair bound, came to see me. She had heard about this strange man who stood in stillness and hugged people and she wanted to meet me. We shared two wonderful hugs. She also had some beautiful thoughts to say on the need for hugs and love in the world. I am grateful that we could capture these moments as this is what has made my experience as The Hugger Busker so memorable and transformative.

It was a very busy and lively day. How I appreciate giving hugs in Old Montreal it is so very different then downtown. The public here is so much more receptive, so much more appreciative of what I have to offer then the corporate crowd.

Downtown Blues

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 08 Sep 2004 19:53:00 -0700

Stress relief is just one hug away!

After 5 hours downtown and a dozen or so hugs later I wonder if this location is appropriate for me. I wonder if it is because I am on the corner of a major intersection that people dont take the time to stop. I am thinking of trying to install myself in the middle of the block that way people may be more apt to stop. But even then the energy is so harried and stressed here. It makes me sad to watch all these pople go by who crave what I have to offer yet are have forgotten to take the time to live.

A Long Playful Day

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 06 Sep 2004 20:22:00 -0700

Loving my world one hug at a time. You, how do you love your world?

It has been a delightful Labor Day weekend in that the people who came to the area were in a festive, relaxed mood, but there was also sadness in the air. It is in a sense the end of the summer holidays. This is hard for many Montrealers as we have had a rather short summer season and that in spite of the beauty of autumn, we know that a long, cold winter is just around the corner.

I stayed quite late tonight as I was in a playful mood and did not yet want to leave. The evening was quite peaceful and there were still quite a few people wandering about. I had the feeling that may be this was last good weekend in Old Montreal suitable for the Hugger Busker so I wanted it to last as long as possible. The evening breeze was warm and enveloping like a comforting embrace instilling ones being with an inner serenity. Though I strive to live in the moment with out attachment to what passes I did not want to let these moments fade into the past just yet. It was like when you have a fabulous evening out with your lover before they go away for a long trip and you just dont want the magic to end for fear that you may never experience it again. It does not help that knowing that downtown energy will be a whole new scene for hugging.

I feel excited about the challenge of developing a suitable approach for the downtown crowd, yet I am some what fearful of them as a performer. I have been there several times and each time have I found myself discouraged, in spite of the brave face that I have put on. I wonder it I have the resolve, the stamina to face this resistance over and over again each day. Though these fears weight on my mind I shall not let them sway me. I will present a cheerful visage and an open heart and let what ever happens, become. I am determined to change my world one hug at a time even if I only give one a day. The journey continues.

Being Courageous

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 05 Sep 2004 21:40:00 -0700

Share your happiness! Share your love! This is what makes living truly meaningful.

What an active day today, it was none stop hugs from noon till dusk. I enjoyed myself and when I have fun my energy incites others to enjoy my fun. I love getting hugs from and having conversations with children. When a child decides that they will hug me they do so whole heartedly and joyfully. After one of these adorable hugs a 6 year old girl asked me if I was a prince. I told her that some people call me a prince , some say that Im an angel, but really I am just a man who loves hugging people because it make them happy. Satisfied with my answer she trotted away.

Some of the interactions and conversations that I experienced today were very uplifting. I have been a private and solitary man for so many years it is quite refreshing to converse in an open and heartfelt way with strangers as if they were long lost friends. It is what has made this summer such an enlightening experience for me. I have change so much over such a short span of time. My friends and family tell have been telling me this for a while now, but it is only recently that I can see the change. There are moments when I am amazed at myself, especially when I find myself cheerfully welcoming others into my inner world. I am happy to be me.

Several people have told me in the past few days that I was courageous to do what I was doing. The truth is, I just don't see it like that. I rather think that it is those who come forward and hug me that have the courage. For anyone to share their heartfelt affection with a total stranger, in public, with an audience is not only courageous, but noble. Yes, I am quite aware that my actions are having a powerful and uplifting effect on many people. This is why I can say that at present I find my life to be a truly meaningful one.

Capturing The Hugs

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 04 Sep 2004 20:18:00 -0700

When you embrace life happiness blossoms

What a perfect day it was today. It was documentary day and I was a serene as I was excited to finally get some of the beautiful moments that I have been sharing with people all summer on video. Started to shoot footage this morning of the Hugger Busker. It was a perfect day because this one was for the purpose of the shoot, everything seemed to fall into place. The interviews, the continuous hugs, the simultaneous hugging of two pairs of bride and groom, the spontaneous group hugs, joyful family hugs and tender couple hugs, all this and more was captured on camera. My hearts desire was fulfilled again, as has happened many times during this incredible journey. I know with out a doubt that when I faith in the Gods will is unwavering, when I surrender my self to the flow of the Life Force and when I embrace each moment as fully as possible, everything finds its place and the day becomes perfect and glorious. By Gods grace happiness is continually blossoming in my heart and life. For this happiness and fulfillment I am infinitely grateful.

Faith Renewed

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 03 Sep 2004 21:28:00 -0700

It is your life why not choose to smile, to laugh, to love and to be happy!

Choices our lives are continually filled with infinite choices. It is these choices that create the life we will have tomorrow. For many years I had chosen to be unhappy, to let myself wallow in sadness and self pity. Until I realized that I was becoming everything that I had dreaded to become, a bitter, jealous, miserable and lonely man. Like the artist that harassed me downtown a few days ago. May be that is why I could be so patient with him as I came very close to becoming him. But instead I decided to live to let the light into my life and delight in it. It was a difficult choice and a real struggle to claw my way out of the swirling darkness that had enveloped me. But I turned my heart to God within and was touched by a renewed faith in life, in myself, in people.

It is the inner struggles and suffering of my past that has helped me understand in a very clear way the effect and the power of the choices I make in each and every moment. Though we feel powerless when in the clutches of the darkness we are not in fact we can step out into the light at any moment we choose to. It is simply a matter of deciding with all your being that 'Enough is enough, I want to stop existing and start living!' If I make a choice that makes me feel discomfort I immediately work to change it. For example I may react in an arrogant or sarcastic manner to someone who I felt rejected or hurt me as I do some times in my performance, but I always feel sad afterwards or disappointed in myself for having done so. So I learn from this and then consciously chose to react in a more pleasant manner when a similar situation repeats it self. I do believe that this is the only way to allow our personal evolution to develop at a more rapid pace. At this point in my life I make a conscious effort to face the challenges of my daily experiences in a way that bring me happiness, serenity and peace of mind. It makes me feel that I am living a meaningful life and that is all that matters to me.

An Embittered Artist

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 20:08:00 -0700

Embrace the beauty of this day. Smile to a stranger!

I have used this quote before but it seemed perfect for this day. A clear blue sky, a warm breeze and a hurried crowd who have forgotten to smile at the beauty that there life offers them. I was downtown again ready for the real world. I call downtown the real world because it is where the struggle for survival and success is most evident. Where as Old Montreal is a tourist and relaxation district where people generally go to meander about, forget their worries and try to find a bit of enjoyment in life.

I ended up being harassed and intimidated from the moment I got there till I left in mid afternoon by a miserable, bitter artist who felt that my presence on his corner was not appreciated. It is not the first time that I have been harassed in that area and again by a bitter artist. It makes me wonder if many of these street corner artist who try and sell their wares have not been worn out by the struggle of the artist life. Having lost their creative energy they recreate over and over the same tepid works that was popular decades ago but has long since lost its appeal. A sad picture of the embittered artist nearing the end of his days watching a uncaring crowd stream by ignore his works and his very existence. Though I felt sad for him his systematic intimidation of my self and all those who tried to hug me was trying on my patience and capacity for compassion. He was a perfect example of how one can turn a day of beauty into a rotting one.

I finally left for a meeting/audition with a wonderful writer/director with whom I had worked on several occasions. It was a very enjoyable meeting and I gave a strong reading. Gave everyone hugs and headed back to my sanctuary, busking in the Old City. The energy is calming and playful there I enjoy it very much. It is a pity that there are not more people year round. When it gets a bit cool the area is empty. That is why I have to find myself a suitable spot downtown for the fall.

The Herb Doctor

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:05:00 -0700

No busking today in spite of the beautiful weather. I was at the hospital all afternoon to have a test done for my lungs because I have had several bouts of Broncitis and Sinusitis in the past few years. The specialist though that I might be developing allergies of some kind. Then my friend Pierre who swears by Chinese herbs took me to see his Chinese Herb Doctor who made me a concoction of herbs to bioil and drink as a tea for the next 3 days. This I am drinking as I write. Often these medicinal teas taste terrible but this one has a nice earthy taste to it. It is quite paletable.

A reminder I will be doing a shooting a short video of The Hugger Busker this Labor Day weekend in Old Montreal. I am excited to finally put this on video. If you want to be part of it just come by to watch or better yet to hug me any time between.