Le Journal de M.Câlin - The Hugger Busker's Journal - 04 - 06, 2004

Celebrating Our Humanity

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 30 Jun 2004 22:50:00 -0700

Free Hugs...for those who have the courage to celebrate their humanity!
Calins Gratuit...pour ceux qui ont le courage de célébrer leur humanité!

It does take courage to celebrate one self. It takes courage to accept who we are and to rejoice in the splendor of our imperfections. For that it is these imperfections that make us all so wonderfully unique. It is where our beauty as human beings lay. So why not put aside the tarnished baggage that we so protectively carry around and take a moment to laugh out loud and shout Yes, I am beautiful and this life I have chosen is mine to embrace with loving delight.

Why is it so difficult for most of us to do this. For years I used to envy those who would with out restraint take delight in living. Laughing and smiling freely. My dear friend Mac is like this, she can light a room with her smile or brighten someones day with her cheerfulness.

There was a time not to long ago where seeing some one happy made me angry. I had so much hurt inside that I could not bear to see someone take delight in life. I had a broken heart and a wounded soul that has taken me years to heal. It was a long and lonely road but after two years of self imposed solitude I finally decided that I had spent enough time feeling sorry for my self, enough time wallowing in grief. So I consciously decided that I had enough of seeing the shitty side of the world and would put on my rose colored glasses. Really I went out and bought myself a really nice pair of rose colored glasses that I wore for over a year. One day I could not find them any more so I got myself a pair of sunny yellow tinted glasses now I rarely wear my tinted glass as I love seeing the world in all its shades and hues.

Seize the Moment

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 29 Jun 2004 18:30:00 -0700

Seize the moment because the best time to embrace life is now!
Saisissez ce moment car le meilleur temps dembrasser la vie est maintenant!

My daily message is an invitation for those who are hesitant to share a hug with me. What I am trying to say is that reality only happens NOW. Why put off to later what life offers this moment. I hear people say come on guys well get hugs on the way back , invariably they never make it back and missed what could have been an uplifting moment for a person in that group, or even for the whole group.

In my life I have let so many precious opportunities pass me by because of my own fears, hesitancy or procrastination. I see it now vividly in front of me as I stand there, aware of everyone and everything going on around me. As a performer I want my performance to be a success, but this success lays in the active participation of the onlookers who are both audience and actor. This is what I find exciting about the dramatic context that I am proposing. This piece is not only provocative and evocative it also challenges and entices. I am very fired up by this concept and what it inspires in my self and others.

The Beauty of Stillness

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 28 Jun 2004 21:27:00 -0700

Having embraced stillness I now delight in the beauty of all that is before me!
CALINS GRATUIT - Ayant trouver limmobilité je peux maintenant réjouir dans la beauté de tout ce qui mentour.

A flautist who plays every afternoon in one of the cafes passes each day to read my sign and give me words of encouragement. He mentioned that he was disappointed that I had written the same message two days in a row. It occurred to me that he was not the only local who stopped to read my daily messages. From that point on I decided to keep the words Free Hugs but change the message underneath on a daily basis.

I finally decided to embrace stillness as the starting point of my performance. Firstly it seems to be what to catch peoples attention. I explored several positions over the past few days and have come to realized that the one that was most inviting was with both arms open in front of me, were I am waiting for an embrace. In fact that is what I am doing, waiting. People say that I am being a statue because I am completely still but the truth of the matter is I am simply waiting for someone to come to me for a hug. To be in a state of immobility for its own sake is of no interest to me, it is neither active nor interesting. Where as being in a state of waiting is not only dramatic in nature but also incredibly dynamic. Though the body appears still the inner self is vibrant and full of energy. Dynamic stillness is what I would call it. Peter Brook, the great theater director, explored this kind of stillness with his actors when developing a Greek chorus for one of his productions. He would have them exercise vigorously for hours before beginning to work in stillness.

Buying Happiness

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 27 Jun 2004 20:20:00 -0700

Free Hugs, for those who can not afford to buy Happiness!
Calins Gratuit, pour ceux qui nont pas les moyen de se payer le bonheur!

The second day was just as interesting as the first. People were very receptive. I found them at first to be some what hesitant, even a little weary to approach me, as if uncertain whether if it was a joke or real. There was also the issue of my stillness that I began to realize I was very good at doing. I would hear peoples comments as they went by Is he real?, No! Yes, hes real., Wow! Amazing, What if I approach him and he startles at me? These same comments were to be repeated through out the day. I knew that there was something in the stillness yet I could not figure out how people could even entertain the thought that I was not a statue or wax sculpture. I also realized that if I was to give hugs they had to be real and truly heartfelt. I could not fake it. This was a performance but it was a performance of sharing love, my love to others. This energy had to emenate from me so that the public would at ease with approaching me. Being this open and vulnerable did frighten me as the thought went through my mind, yet it seemed so appropriate for me to be doing this, in this way that I did not let that flicker of fear dissuade me. At this point I still had in mind to do my skits and spontaneous improvisations. The hugging was just the springboard for the rest of my performance material.

Todays Special

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 26 Jun 2004 21:44:00 -0700

Free Hugs, for those who can't afford to buy Happiness!
Special du Jour: Calins Gratuit, pour ceux qui nont pas les moyen de se payer le bonheur

I live in a loft in the Old City not far from my busking spot, so in the morning I would walk there. As I made my way through the narrow cobble stone streets I would pass many small shops and cafes displaying their wares or dishes. Several restaurants had chalkboards outside their door announcing the Special du Jour (Daily Special). This simple sign became the source of my inspiration, from which the Hugger Busker was borne. At the moment however I began to wonder what could I possibly offer that was so special this day. Special enough for people to stop and enter. Special enough to not only entertain, but touch them as well. The first though that flashed through my mind was free hugs. Yes, that would be the Special of the Day. Besides I was a hugger by nature. Never having found the hand shake or the cheek peck to be a personal enough , I would always greet my friends and acquaintances with a warn hug.. So offering hugs was a natural form of expression for me. An act that I was very comfortable with. Which was important as my presence had to make others comfortable enough to want to receive a hug from me, a stranger.

I did not think about how this would happen as I just wrote my message down, found an inviting position to stand in stillness and that was it. It was all very intuitive for me. As an artist I believe that intuition is a gift bestowed apon one from God and that as creators we are simply the vessel through which the creativity of Universal Wisdom flows. I was amazed at how receptive people were to receiving hugs from me. By the end of the day I had decided that this was a direction that I would like to explore further. It somehow allowed for my performance aspirations, of being a catalyst for transformation and my spiritual aspirations, of living a loving and meaningful life together. I instinctively knew that this was a path that must be followed. So follow it I did, curious where this delightful journey would lead me.

Courage in Silence

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 22:07:00 -0700

Being at a loss for words, I find courage in Silence!
Ayant perdu mes mots je retrouve mon courage dans le Silence !

Something that I did not give much thought too but did notice was that the more I remained in stillness the more people stopped and looked. Yet when I would do my skits they would loose interest and leave. It is not that what I was doing was not interesting or fun but it too concentration on their part and most people did not have time to hang about if there was no big flash or splash that many of the other street performers used. So I focused on exploring the stillness of dramatically dynamic moments.

At one point in the afternoon a large family from the States stopped by and hung out for a while to watch me. I did all my skits for them and improvised with everyone who passed by. I had really able to let go. My improves were flowing very freely I felt in my element for the first time. Not self conscious at all. I was having a great time. They just loved it and were very appreciative of the entertainment I gave them. It must have lasted at least 30 minutes or so. That was the kind of street performance I had imagined myself doing. Playing with and imitating passer bys to the amusement of onlookers. I had seen a street clown in Paris, when I lived there, who did that kind of thing every day in front of a café terrace. He was quite entertaining to watch. Of course he had a built in audience, the café customers who welcomed the divertissement. Every once in a while he would pass his hat among the café crowd and receive donations from them. In Europe it is an accepted way for street performers to make a living. However in North America this is frowned upon unfortunately. Here street performers need to buy a permit and can only perform in specific locations.

Over all it was a fine day for me for I had broken out of my shell and actually let my creativity guide me.

Do I Remember?

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 21:56:00 -0700

I do remember, but I have forgotten what!
Je me souviens, mais de quoi je ne le sait plus!

Today is Saint Jean Baptist Day, a holiday with celebrations, parades and festivities province wide. It was also my first full day busking. I arrived at around 10 am, set up my suitcases and chalkboards and waited. My message of the day was a play on Quebecs license plate slogan Je me souviens (I remember). It was an interesting day because there were a large number of people milling about. My act developed as the day went on I went from stillness to doing short 1 minute skits/improves when ever someone put money in my tin. My first skit was the subway ride and it sort of worked at least the lady I did it for seemed to enjoy it. It was weird because I couldnt think much about doing a skit or I might loose my courage so Id just jump into it.

Later I established a play space in front of me marked out in chalk and when some one would cross into it I would break out of my stillness and in a comedic way freak out at the intruder. It brought a lot of laughs from onlookers but then people would be hesitant to enter the space to put money in my tin so I had to invent invisible doors that they could pass through. That was fun, the kids loved it because they could associate with creating imaginary worlds.

A Strange Experience

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 23 Jun 2004 22:02:00 -0700

I have lost my courage!
Le courage me manqué!

My first day out busking was a strange experience. There I arrived at the spot that I had scoped out a the day before as being suitable for my improves. I set my suitcases down put out my chalkboards and wrote my first message 'I have lost my courage!' and sat down on one of my cases and waited. For what I am not certain. Courage, inspiration, an answer I am not certain what but I sat silently and just waited.

I must have been an odd sight this man in an late 19th century suit sitting on a suitcase looking for courage in the middle of an ancient cobble stone public square. Haaa! Yea it sounds mighty odd to me. Still people became curious. They approached me, asking about my courage and wanting to know what I was about. Some were generous, putting money in my donation tin. People were very supportive. They would wish me courage and insist that I not give up on my desire to perform. I was quite moved by some of their comments. Though I only stayed for 4 hours the act of being there, of actually putting myself out in the public eye was enough to make me want to return the next day.

An Inspired Idea

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 22 Jun 2004 22:30:00 -0700

I told my sister about my lack of courage. That in spite of my deep desire to entertain I just could not manage to get enough courage to do my impoves. I felt really sad and disapointed in myself. She said in a very spontaneous way. Why dont you write on a cardboard I have lost my courage!, sit on your suitcase and wait to see what happens. Go back every day , write what you feel and wait. Eventually inspiration will come to you and something will happen. People will come by to see what you have written and they will be curious and inspired because you will express what other feel but are not comfortable expressing publicly. That is exactly what I did. Her idea was truly inspired. As soon as I heard her words I became very excited by the potential of this idea. The same day I got myself some chalkboards, another suitcase and an umbrella, to replace my walking stick. I felt using a cane was to reminiscent of Chaplin. I wanted to be inspired by his work, I did not wish to imitate it. I looked forward to the next day when I would actively begin living my desire to be a street performer, a busker.

Frist Day Out

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 21 Jun 2004 21:52:00 -0700

On my first day out I dressed up in my period suit grabbed my suitcase and walking stick and headed off to the public square in the Old City to try my hand at performing in the street. I was certainly nervous as I walked from my loft near by to the square. People would look at me with curiosity as I passed and then smile.

I tried to let a character emerge from me as I walked. I felt elegant, yet ageless. I had come from another time where people were or at least appeared to be courteous and well mannered. Though I seemed well to do yet some how penniless. Homeless yet at home anywhere. The presence that I sought to develop was partly inspired by Keaton and Chaplin whom I admire. Their ability to touch the hearts of people with their physical expression. An expression which reflected both the pathos and humour of human nature. This is what I also strived to explore, though I was still not quite certain what form this expression would take.

After wandering around the square for a bit I found a spot behind the statue of Admiral Nelson perched high on a roman column. It was a space reserved for buskers, but one that most buskers did not want to use as it limited the number of people who could gather around. So there I was which several physical comedy skits in my under my hat but no courage to take the plunge. So many thought going through my head . How to begin? How to draw a crowd? How to keep them once I had their attention? How to pass the hat in a courteous manner? All these unanswered questions and more kept me paralyzed. I was angry with myself for the lack of guts that I displayed. And could see expectancy, curiosity and a flicker of excitement in peoples eyes when they would look at me as they walked by. They were hungry for entertainment. They wanted me to put on a show for them. All I could do was smile back and retreat into myself. Finally after a few hours of wandering I went back home humbled and disappointed in myself.