Le Journal de M.Câlin - The Hugger Busker's Journal - 09 - 12, 2005

Birthday Hugs

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 21:19:00 -0700

'Celebrating my birthday with a happy hug.'

Today is my birthday and I am happy. Not because it is my birthday but because I just woke up that way. It was fun having so many people wish me happy birthday and give me hugs. I decided that it was my day to receive hugs rather then just giving them. It is true that hugging should be a shared experience but more often then not I am on the giving end as many do not really give back what they receive. It is ok I like giving. This year I am not doing anything special, but generally I have a dinner party on my birthday where I play host by invite my close friends and sometimes new friends to my loft to celebrate with me. I prepare a scrumptious dinner and it is great fun. I don't really understand the idea of offering gifts on a birthday. I see it more as a celebration of life where the greatest gift is the cherished company of loved ones.

Dedicated to Hugging

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 18:01:00 -0700

'I open my heart to you the next step is yours!'

I am often asked if I hug as much in my personal life as I do when The Hugger Busker?

Whether it is as part of my show or my personal life I just love hugging. Just because I hug hundreds of strangers a day professionally does not mean that I am turned of by it when my day is over. In fact the inner feeling of comfort and joy that I get each and every time that I share a hug is what keeps me hugging. I know that it make others feel good when I hug them but it also makes me feel wonderful and that is why I do it and continue to do it in my civilian life. I would say that I am a dedicated hugger as hugging has become my standard form of greeting.
Often people I meet for the first time have already heard about me so they welcome a hug from me, in fact many look forward to it. I suppose they want to see if the quality of my hugs lives up to the reputation that they have garnered. As for those who don't know me as a hugger, well I usually greet them with a warm handshake or kiss on the cheek. But once they find out about my hugging vocation they invariable welcome a parting hug from me. Hugging is not just what I promote in my performance work but also what I strive to promote in my day to day life. The sharing of human intimacy is something that is desperately needed in our society so might as well teach by example. I live my life the best way I can and if what i do inspires others to be alittle happier in thier lives then that is a good thing.

Hugging for Street Kids

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 23:24:00 -0700

'Where there is kindness there is hope. Where there is love there is joy.'

Le Bon Dieu Dans La Rue. I was invited to give hugs at the annual fundraiser of this wonderful organization that helps homeless, street kids stay safe and fed. Dans La Rue is run by Father Emmett "Pops" Johns who is known for driving around in an RV called the Bunker from which he offers food, warmth and help to the disenfranchised youth of our urban society. It was happy to have been invited. A fair number of homeless kids who hang out in the neighborhood regularly come to me for hugs. I was a good match for this event because as I give unconditional hugs and comfort in the form of hugs Pops brings love and comfort to street kids in need. I saw myself as giving hugs to the donors and volunteers of the organization on behalf of all the kids that their time and money has helped.

A beautiful evening it was the organizers had set up a special place for me. I was all lit up with a nice back drop it was cool.The evening was very successful and the organizers were very happy. The press was there and loved my concept. So I found myself having my photo taken with Pops and a main donor for the Gazette's Society section. At the end of the evening I set myself at the exit to allow everyone a chance for a farewell hug and many guests responded.I like the feeling of being a host and wish everyone a wonderful evening as they leave. It is important that guests leave an event with a smile as they will have good feelings about it in their memory.It makes me happy to see others happy.

A Week Off

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 18:17:00 -0700

A gorgeous week but I stayed home for a well deserved rest. I am happy that I kept my promise to myself of taking the week off to take care of myself. I must be remember to love and care for myself before my body reminds me with illness or accident. My journey demands that I be disciplined and whole.

If you have not noticed Ive redesigned my site adding several new sections. I've also including video and audio clips of recent interviews.

What Drives Me

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 11 Sep 2005 22:10:00 -0700

Sharing my vision of a caring world!

It took all my resolve to get through the day. It was beautiful and I wanted to be here share love with so many people. I was really running on empty I even took a long nap in the park during the day. I know that I should listen to my body and rest but I just love being here doing what I do. Tomorrow Im off for a week.

I wonder why I am here if I feel so drained. I suppose you might be wondering that as well. Haaaa! I given this much thought and the reason is very straight forward. It is the sparkle of delight in the eyes of someone whom I just hugged, the joyful laugh of a child running back into their parents embrace, the deep sigh followed by a surprised giggle of someone in my embrace, the beaming smiles and radiant looks of wonder and joy that emanate from so many who stop to watch and participate in my journey, in our journey of human tenderness and caring. This experience is so very powerful for me, so very invigorating, so meaningful and nurturing to my being that I just want to go on and on and on. I have tasted the elixir of life that gurgles from the fountain of love and my thirst has become insatiable. A traveler on a personal and spiritual journey is what I am and I love every second of it, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. What drives me is not just the sheer joy of giving heartfelt hugs but the burning desire to fully experience the deeply transformative journey that has become my life.

A Prayerful Way

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 10 Sep 2005 22:19:00 -0700

Where there is kindness there is hope!

It was one of those days where I woke up feeling down and out. I end up going to work feeling sad and empty. I usually get really quite inside when I fell like that. So my walk to work was a very silent one. I could feel the little energy I had dissipating with each step I took. Exhaustion was creeping in even more. I had promised myself that after this weekend I would take the week off no matter what the weather was like. And only work weekends from now on.

Taking a moment to express gratitude and asking for whatever inspiration I need always lifts my spirit above the din. Doing this always helps me, and especially when I get to work feeling tired, down or am just in a pissy mood. Before I open my arms to the world I will take a few moments to be still and silent. Hands to my heart, head bowed, eyes closed, I breathe deeply, then I offer a silent prayer to the Creator.

I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. I welcome the delights and lessons of this blessed day. May fortitude, wisdom and compassion be my constant companions so that I may face this day with loving kindness and joyful wonder. I strive for the courage to open my heart so that the light of love can flow through me with vigor and passion. May my very being become a source of healing, joy and inspiration for all who cross my path.

If this prayerful intention is not enough to sooth my suffering then invariably, with in a short time a kindred spirit will be sent to me. They will hold me to their bosom and with a few gentle words of encouragement illuminate the shadows of my heart. It does not take much more then a bit of kindness to bring hope back into anothers life.

No Go for Hugging

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 09 Sep 2005 18:44:00 -0700

Went for a few hours late in the day but the evening the place was so quite. I had expected more people on a warm Friday evening. From now on I will just go hugging on Weekends and leave the week to rest up and write.

The Cowboy Beggar

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 21:13:00 -0700

A touch of tenderness to relieve the stress of this day!

Seeing as the Old City was quite I decided to venture to Square Victoria Metro, near my loft, to try and offer my hugs to the business lunch crowd. There is a large open space in front of the subway entrance. Next to it is a lovely flower kiosk and a fabricated designer park with many benches, trees and fountains that lounges the whole block. There are usually quite a few people milling about at lunch and of course during the evening rush to get home. All the workers from the financial and multi-media district pass through there. The human traffic was constant but there were very few takers. I suppose to many I seem an oddity. I am not surprised as being outside the normal tourist area most dont know what to make of me and dont have the time to reflect of what it is I am offering. I would need to be there every day for at least a month before they would get use to me. Then I might get many regulars. My main obstacle here was the same one I had when I was Downtown last year, the 'rush, rush, rush, no time to live just work' attitude of the corporate environment.

Another obstacle that I had not counted on was a skinny, little, grizzled man, in an ill fitting, rundown western outfit (boots, big buckle and the even the hat) with a crass, boozy mouth squatting this prime busking spot. He felt threatened by my presence and was not shy to show it. He had been opening this subway entrance door for people for a few years, so he said. This was his spot I had no right there. Of course having a city permit gives me priority but I did not feel like getting the police involved even though he intent in driving me away through intimidation. I just ignored him and finally when he had enough booze money he left. Then there was a man who showed up next to us and began giving away free copies of the daily paper. It just did not work well, me with my Free Hugs and the beggar with his loud banter and ever present money cup and the paper guy. It just seems like a bunch of beggars grasping for everyone's time and wallet. I certainly did not want to deprive him of his drink money but still I have to do what I have to do If this is the hassle that I will have to go through every day at this spot then it just is not worth the effort.

I headed off to Place Jacques Cartier later in the evening but it was just too quite to be worth the time or the energy. I am better off at home updating my site and working on my book.

A Desolate Place

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 20:57:00 -0700

Embracing my solitude allows me to share my love!

Well I certainly embraced my solitude today. I thought it would be quite, desolate is more like it. Labor day weekend is over and Place Jacques Cartier looks like a ghost town. There is hardly anyone about in spite of the glorious weather. It seems as if the summer has come to an abrupt end. Everyone is back at work or at school. As for the travelers and tourists they were sparse as well. It made me sad to look out across the square and see it so desolate. I enjoy my solitude but this sudden void made me feel very lonely. I was also starting to feel the exhaustion from the 3 and a half months of hugging creeping in so I called it a day and went to see the movie 'The Man' with my sweetie. It was light hearted fun that made us laugh.

An Act of Homage

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 05 Sep 2005 22:13:00 -0700

Share the essence of living happiness!

I was felt exhausted today and had to again take a nap in the park. I slept for a good hour. At least I had the foresight to take a break before a repeat of yesterday blowout.
It was getting difficult for me to share the essence as I couldnt feel it in me. I was hugging, and people left my embrace saying Oh, what a wonderful hug., That was a really good hug., but I was not feeling it. Maybe I dont have to feel it. Maybe it is just there naturally and I just have to open and the love flows on its own. I wonder if I have been trying to hard. That is the problem I have been trying instead of just letting the flow be; sometimes strong, sometimes gentle, sometimes still.

A woman laid some beautiful violet and white orchids by my feet this evening while I was hugging someone. She left so quickly that I did not get a chance to thank her. I am awed and honored by the gracious and respectful offerings that people have left me. To have my art paid homage to in such a way makes me feel truly blessed. This shows me that there are many other ways, apart from hugging, to share the essence of living happiness.

Blowing a Gasket

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 04 Sep 2005 22:50:00 -0700

This simple gesture can bring much comfort and joy. Make it a habit!

I blew a gasket this afternoon. I really lost it for the second time in two years. I am tired that is what it is. You see at around 4:30 I was nodding off and figured that I would meditate, as I had done several times earlier this season. So I turned my blackboards back, Free Hugs was not showing, I took my jacket, hat and shoes off, put away my donation tin and guest book, rolled up my carpet sat on it cross legged and opened my umbrella. There I sat with my eyes closed hidden underneath my umbrella. Every time I would dose off some one or several people would come by and try to peak under my umbrella or lift it to see what I was doing. At one point I =got so annoyed that I raised my umbrella to a crowed of 20 or so people that had gathered to watch me. What did they think that I was doing a show?? I asked them all to leave me alone as I was taking a break. I went back to my rest but lo and behold it began again people poking and prodding at me, a woman even jumped up and landed loudly just a few inched from the edge of my umbrella. That is when I lost it. I yelled at everyone that I was taking a break and that I was not there to entertain them, that I had a right to rest and that if they wanted entertainment to go see a movie or something, but to leave me the Fuck alone!!!!. They got the message and went away as for myself I packed everything in my cases. Grabbed my coat, hat and money tin and stormed out to the little grassy park next to the Square to nap. I must have slept for a good 45 minutes. I did a head stand after my nap and felt so much better. I went back to my carpet with a warm smile in the mood to share some tender loving.

It is like that when I am tired and hungry my system short circuits and I get very impatient, moody and ill tempered. I am aware of it so I have to be vigilant and listen to the needs of my system or I will burn out.

A Pain in The Neck

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 03 Sep 2005 22:48:00 -0700

By loving those I share my world with I hope to make it a more joyful place!

My neck has been aching since the morning. I woke up and I could barely get out of bed my neck muscles was so painful. I though that I had pinched a nerve but it was more like muscular cramps, my neck muscles must have I gotten cold in the night. I was so sore and painfully stiff. I was not certain if I could actually go to work but after a hot sea salt bath I felt relaxed enough to go. My mom sent me a LaKota American Indian natural ointment to spread on my neck that has done wonders to relieve the tightness. I hoped that I did not encounter too many vigorous huggers today.

I began my day with very gentle, tender hugs as I wanted to pace myself for the day. It was good to do that as it allowed me to take more time with the person before I hugged them. I would speak to each person a little first. That contact is different from the silence which is a whole other approach. Here I was more down to earth and personal in my rapport, as opposed to being spiritual and sacred. The day went smoothly, with a constant flow of hugs, only a few time did I have to ask someone to hug me less roughly. It sound sod but it is true some people are very rough when they hug me, grabbing me in a super strong embrace or pounding hard on my back with their hand. I guess it is the manly way to hug. Haaa!

It was a beautiful evening which unfortunately ended as I had feared, painfully. A very tall, muscular woman walked up to me for a hug and jump up on me with out warning wrapping her arms tightly around my neck and legs around my waist. I almost fell to the ground it was so unexpected. I yell in pain and she quickly released her hold on me. I was very upset with her and told her so. I told her that she had hurt me but she just said You wanted a hug, so I gave you a hug. Then she turned and walked away with out even an apology. It makes me really mad when people are so careless and uncaring. I dont know why some people think that they can barrel into me or jump on me with out a care. Maybe I inspire the child in them and they forget their size and weight. I tried to continue but I had trouble raising my left arm for the pain in my neck. So with deliberate care I slowly packed up and went home to a hot bath, a couple of pain killers and a comfortable bed and a caring partner.

King of the Hill

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 20:16:00 -0700

To be kind and loving to others makes for a meaningful life!

What a quiet day today, there has been barely anyone about, even if it has been a lovely warm day. When it is quite like this I like talking with people who stop by and wander around the square a bit. I never get to see what goes on as I am always at standing on my little Persian carpet at the top of the hill. Once last year a group of French Rainbow Gatherers gave me a group hug and chanted Martin, Le Roi des Calins (Martin, King of Hugs) so does that make me King of the hill by acclimation?! I suppose in a way there is nobility in my actions.

I have much energy but no one to share it with. I want to hug some one, ANYONE!! so will you please stop your gawking, get over you shyness and come for a hug! Auggghh! It frustrates me when people just stand there and watch me for 10, 15 even 20 minutes sometimes waiting for some else to go first. Why are so many people followers, and so few instigators, leaders, innovators. All of us have the capacity to be inspired, creative and bold so why do so many of us allow fear to render us inactive. I know for many years I did not feel that I deserved to be loved, that I was worthy of it, even if it is what I most wanted, so I would sabotage my relationships with women who loved me. Fear is a terrible state as it is often based on sheer imaginings of what may or may not transpire. Fear is also a great teacher as it shows us what challenges we must face in order to become more evolved beings. Walk boldly towards your fears with a loving heart and they will dissipate before your very eyes, transforming into courage and resilience. Then you will have the courage to be loving and the resilience to be kind.

The Silence of Listening

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 01 Sep 2005 21:55:00 -0700

A meaningful life is one filled with love and kindness towards others.

I began in silence again today, remaining so for several hours as I gave hugs. It allowed me to be closer to the divine in me. It is when I inhabit my silence fully that serenity envelops me and hugging becomes a ritual of sacredness. How I cherish the silence with in. How I cherish the strength that comes from silence, the wisdom that emerges, the beauty of being that is revealed. Again I think of how I appreciate and need my solitude, the silence that comes with it and the stillness of mind that follows. It is there that the seat of existence lays, that the Divine Truth of being is revealed. This is where my life is laid bare, my fears emerge, my demons forge, my hungers ravage and my desires thirst. This is where all that I am finds can find peace with itself and acceptance begins.

If only more of us took the time to be silent more often it would change how we interact with each other. Imagine we would actually be able to listen, I mean really listen to what someone else is revealing about their existence. Often a person reveals more about their condition in the silence between their words, then in the words themselves. It is silence that brings me closer to God with in.

Sound Studios and Fundraisers

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 22 Sep 2004 22:59:00 -0700

Where there is kindness there is hope. Where there is love there is joy.

What a busy day today. I spent most of the day in a recording studio doing voice work for a film which was a real hoot. Walla, which is what background voices for film is called, is a great way to pass a day and make good money. I love the challenge and fun of improvising with other actors inane conversations that people at the back of the restaurant might be having or what the strange man in the crowd might be muttering to himself as the piece of satellite is hurtling down towards him. Haaa! Yea it can get quite silly in studio sometimes.

Le Bon Dieu Dans La Rue.
I was invited to give hugs at the annual fundraiser of this wonderful organization that helps homeless, street kids stay safe and fed. Dans La Rue is run by Father Emmett Pops Johns who is known for driving around in an RV called the Bunker from which he offers food, warmth and help to the disenfranchised youth of our urban society.

Oddly enough the event was held in exactly the same space as the last event I did for the Convention of Urologists last month. As always people dont know what to make of me when they first encounter The Hugger Busker. It only takes one to break the ice and it is usually someone from the organization that sets the example. I was a good match for this event because as I give unconditional hugs and comfort in the form of hugs Pops brings love and comfort to street kids in need. I saw myself as giving hugs to the donors and volunteers of the organization on behalf of all the kids that their time and money has helped.

The evening was very successful and the organizers were very happy. The press was there and loved my concept. So I found myself having my photo taken with Pops and a main donor for the Gazettes Society section. At the end of the evening I set myself at the exit to allow everyone a chance for a farewell hug and many guests responded. I like the feeling of being a host and wish everyone a wonderful evening as they leave. It is important that guests leave an event with a smile as they will have good feelings about it in their memory. It makes me happy to see others happy.