Le Journal de M.Câlin - The Hugger Busker's Journal - 07 - 08, 2005

The Official Greeter

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 23:18:00 -0700

I have an urge, an uncontrollable urge to embrace life!

This saying was written especially for this evening, which was to be my very first paid gig as The Hugger Busker. I was hired to give Free Hugs to a group of 2000 Urologist from around the world, who had gathered in Montreal for a week long convention. Tonight was their opening night Gala event, held in the main hall of the Windsor Train Station. It is a gorgeous building with a high glass ceiling, marble floors and curved staircases. The organization had forgotten to plan for a suitable place with lighting for me so I had to forge my own place amongst the countless tables and thematic events that filled the hall.

It was a festive evening with many quirky performers and musicians roaming about. The mood of the crowd was celebratory and cheerful. For my part, I was mostly a curiosity at first standing there in my stillness but slowly people began to come for hugs and then the word spread. People would bring their friends over and so on. I had placed myself in the center of the hall for the first part of the evening but once the sun set I found myself not very well lit, so when I noticed people beginning to leave I high tailed it to the main doors, where there was plenty of light. This spot also afforded me access to every guest as they left. It turned out to be a very wise move as I was able to bid the guests a good evening and offer them a parting hug before they left. This worked quite well and I believe that the organizers were very pleased with my initiative. I also enjoyed myself immensely with the role that I had taken, as the official greeter of the event. It pleased me that not only the guest indulged in my hugs but so did the other performers and the serving staff as well. In my embrace everyone became a VIP.

Bullies for a Cause

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 29 Aug 2005 21:45:00 -0700

When I am loving and kind my world becomes a sanctuary of peace!

Well I was as loving as I could possibly be but in spite of my best intentions the world around me was becoming more and more chaotic. A few hours after I arrived at the Square a disturbingly loud and obnoxious demonstration across the street, in front of City Hall extinguished any tranquility that was there. So for a good 5 hours the demonstration that was supposed to shake up the mayor and all the city council members and inform them of the vast amounts of poison ivy in the city parks, did nothing more them annoy and aggravate the world at large. They did not get the mayor's attention but they certain got everyone elses, as their volume 10 rebel music and incessant wail of an air raid siren made the life of every one else in the neighborhood untenable. I just dont understand demonstrations that try to annoy, aggravate and bully for change. Who would really listen to someone who tries to shove their complaints down your throat. I certainly would not. In fact if at first I sympathized with their cause they certain made it so that after a few hours I became too disturbed by their tactics to care about their cause.

In the mid 90s I was president of the Montreal branch of ACTRA, the Canadian actors guild , for several years so I do understand the struggle for a seemingly just cause. Still the idea of lets pester and disrupt our opponent so much that they will give us what we want just so that we go away, a tactic that seems to be a favored by many of our labor organizations, is not only childish and counter productive, but also shows a complete disrespect for the concept of a civil, democratic society.

Having been the victim of bulling and intimidation during much of my childhood and early teens I take a very dim view on those who use fear and intimidation to get their way. As far as I am concerned bullies are spineless, arrogant, self centered cowards. I try not to judge others but these types really get my goat and I am quick to put them in their place when they turn their ugly face my way.

To Simply BE

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 28 Aug 2005 21:10:00 -0700

By loving you I learn to love myself!

It is difficult to let go, to surrender to the nature of being. There is always that impulse to control my environment, to control the outcome of events rather then allow myself the joy of discovering the unknown. To love others, friends and strangers alike, unconditionally has been a great challenge for my ego, for that part of me that seeks to control everything as it forces me to accept the human nature of another with out judgment, to embrace the perfect beauty of their imperfection. To recognize that their imperfections are also my own and to love them as they truly are I am loving myself as I am. By accepting the fullness of my human nature, the divinity of my being I will then have the capacity to appreciate the sacredness of all beings before me. Our wrapping may be different but we share the same fears, needs, suffering and longings. How can I then not love unconditionally . Oh how difficult it is to just abandon myself to the being of God that I am, that we all are. My greatest fear and my greatest desire is to surrender to the current of life and to simply BE!

God's Soothing Breath

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 27 Aug 2005 23:29:00 -0700

This is the language of the heart, utterly divine but absolutely human!

It was a none stop day for hugs and loving! A day that fills me with exuberant joy! How happy and content I am when giving and receiving love, tenderness and comfort. To see others laugh and be joyful because of my actions, to laugh and be joyful myself because of the delight I witness in others is what meaningful living is to me. How grateful I am for this day, for this life, for this continuing inspiration.

Gabriel and Alanah and their parents visited several times today , their last day in Montreal. In the evening before they left we shared a beautiful family hug. They were a genuinely loving family, comfortable and open in their affection and love for one another. I was touched by their authentic appreciation of living a loving life. They seemed to be a happy family, happy to be a family. I wish that there were more families like that around.

Tenderness, affection, caring, kindness, love are all borne from the human heart and can only blossom when acted upon. For it is the act itself of being kind, caring, loving that gives meaning to being human, that brings us closer to the Divine within and lets us experience the enveloping warmth and soothing touch of Gods breath.

Willy Wonka Day

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Fri, 26 Aug 2005 22:50:00 -0700

Though I embrace the serenity of my stillness, Id much rather embrace you!

Today was Willy Wonka Day! Twas a day where I was showered with yummy lolylpops and gooey bonbons. Throughout the day children kept bringing me sweet offerings as a token of affection. Two of these children, Gabriel and Alanah just could not get enough of hugging me. They came running into my arms countless times through out the past several days. As I, their parents were amazed at how much they were enamored with me. I loved the fact that these children were uninhibited in displaying their affection. I remember the first time they approached me little Alanah was too shy to come, she even seemed a little intimidated, it was not until her older brother hugged me that she ventured forth. After that it became a hug fest for both of them. Their parents must have thought that the children were disturbing me by coming so often for endless hugs, even when I had a crowd around me. I was not disturbed in fact I was delighted as they were a wonderful inspiration and no doubt a fine example to others at how joyful the sharing of unconditional love can be. I cherished their candy and their hugs as much as I did their unrestrained exuberant loving natures.

Singing for a Hug

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 21:21:00 -0700

In stillness I embrace the joy of being, in hugging you I embrace the joy of living!

A group of girls who were part of a Christian dancing choir offered to sing for me. It was wonderful to receive such a heartfelt gift. It always moves me to tears when other artists are so touched by my work that they reciprocate in kind. Spontaneous acts of creative kindness that is what I like to call this. Imagine a singer, musician, classical actor spontaneously performing to an impromptu crowd on a busy street for a few minutes and then walking away after the applause. That would be a gesture of creative kindness. As we all need witness and be touched by the beauty of a heartfelt song, a cheerful tune or a moving poem. A performers offering of sharing love through his art.

Do Not Disturb

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 22:35:00 -0700

Yes, I give heartfelt hugs, but if you dont want one please dont disturb my art.

I had lunch with a friend and ended up getting to place Jacques Cartier a few hours later then usual. It seems that a woman and her daughter had been waiting for me for over an hour hoping that I would show up. They were visiting Montreal and had hugged me several times over the past week, but today was their last day before returning home and they wanted to hug me one last time. Their patience paid off as I arrived and they got to share a very nice hug with me. The woman left a letter in my tin. It was beautiful letter of appreciation and support. It was a wonderful way to begin the day, however I was feeling a bit fragile and I did not feel up too being bothered by people who didnt want hugs but wanted to poke me or try and disturb my stillness. There are times when I am so comfortable in my stillness that I want to hang a sign that says 'Do Not Disturb! Unless you want a hug."
The rest of the day I felt not as connected as usual. I wonder if it is just my being used to the flow of energy with in that now I am less aware of it, because the people I hug still seem to feel the power of my energy when I hug them.

Carnivale

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 23:11:00 -0700

Silence nurtures my spirit and embracing you nurtures my heart!

It seems that a little press can go a long way. Ive just received several offers to give hugs at events in the fall. That is so cool. Ive been wanting to take my hugs on the road during the winter and this is a good start. One will be for an organization that helps street kids and the other will be for a Health and Wellness Fair for people over 60. I am looking forward to this. I have so many ideas for the winter I am not certain which path to take. I want to write my book, redesign my website, go to LA with The Hugger Busker. I will have to sit in silence and let my heart guide me.

I have this day dream of being part of a traveling carnival and going from town to town hugging people, kind of like the characters in that wonderful television series Carnivale. Its out on DVD so if you have not seen it I highly recommend it. I have always loved working on period films, going back in time. I would love to play a role in a series of that nature. Where there is a struggle between good and evil, illusion and reality and nothing is at it seems. I have a strong affinity with those characters, people who have special gifts, unique talents but seems to the rest of the world as freaks or outsiders. I have always felt like an outsider even when I was a child. Always trying to fit in, to be part of the group but never finding my place. I am no longer interested in fitting in as I am very content being my independent, creative, innovative self. I suppose in some way I am creating my own 'Carnivale' out of life.

The Radio Interview

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 22 Aug 2005 22:26:00 -0700

Let your heart guide you through the day and you will not be led astray!

My first hug of the day was a very moving one. As I was writing my saying I noticed a man behind me watching me intently. He ask about what I was doing and confessed that he had seen someone else give public hugs only once before. The day after 9/11 in New York a someone was giving hugs to shocked New Yorkers in the street. The man told me he had wept by the sight of it as this act of compassion touched him deeply. However he said he could not hug me as I was a man and well he was not comfortable to do so. I spoke to him about living through ones heart and appreciating the beauty of what life offers us each and every day, of how sharing our loving nature with others we acknowledge the beauty in ourselves and the sacredness of our humanity. He suddenly threw himself in to my arms and wept as I held mine in my arms. I hugged him for a long while. When the embrace finally ended he thanked me and told me that he realized as I was speaking to him that he has been living in and with head for so long that he had lost the connection with his heart and when his heart open to him grief overwhelmed him. It was a surprising experience for him, but one he was grateful for. It was a beautiful way to begin this day.

This evening I left earlier as I had radio interview with Peter Anthony Holder from CJAD 800am. He had read the Gazette article yesterday and loved it so he invited me on his talk show. I was a bit nervous before I got into the studio, I had made notes through out the day of what I wanted to say and I was stressing out. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I felt my throat getting tighter and tighter. Then I had remembered my saying of the day and immediately began breathing deeply, turned to my heart for guidance and surrendered. The nervousness dissipated as a deep calm washed over me. I went into my interview feeling calm, confident and unworried about what I would say. As the interview began the words just flowed through me. I spoke well because I let my heart speak for me.

The Gazette Article

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 21:29:00 -0700

If we cant be loving to one an other let us at least be respectful and kind!

The article in the Montreal Gazette came out today. I was very happy with the article. It was in fact two articles, one about me and the other on my Hugging Manual, with two colored photos. The article summarized what I do very well and has, I believe, captured the essence of The Hugger Busker and my transformative journey. I am appreciative of the sensitivity that Heba Aly, the journalist, has brought to the subject. I had a very strong and positive response everyone who had read it and a number of readers came to find me for a hug.

I always get people who just dont get it. They will stand in front of me and read the sign and exclaim, Free Hugs!? I dont get it who would want a hug? When ever I hear this I am always baffled that someone would not understand the value of human affection? But then I had a well heeled group of American executives took pleasure in blowing cigar smoke in my face and laughing about whether I would react if they kicked me in the balls, and this was after they read my sign. I did get peeved at their disrespect and ignorance. I gave a respectful dressing down and then told them to take a hike. Sometimes I just to darn difficult to be loving to over bearing bullies or people who are just plain mean. Unfortunately the world is full of them so I am going to have to learn to be compassionate and be kind to them.

The Healing Touch

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 22:22:00 -0700

If you cant be loving, be nice. If you cant be nice, be silent, If you cant be silent, then you really need a hug!

This saying worked quite well today as several people who would try to tease me stopped after reading my words.

It did not take long for a healing opportunity to arise. A homeless man that I say hello to when I walk to work came to see me this after noon. He had fallen of a bicycle and bruised his ribs. I offered to do Reiki. He accepted and for 10 minutes we stood there my hand on his ribs allowing for the healing energy to work. At one point my hand became very hot and there as an audible sound that came from the area. He instantly reacted to it with a bit of surprise in his voice, but I told him to continue focusing on his breathing. When IO was done he told me that he felt his ribs move and that the pain has drastically diminished. I was quite surprised to hear this; even though I had heard the sounds I just thought that they were digestive noises. However he claimed that it was a rib or something adjusting itself. He kept on repeating that I had a gift, which made me rather uncomfortable because I dont really do anything. Anyway he felt better and left. A few hours later another homeless man came to me and told me that he had just had an operation for a hernia. I did some Reiki on him as well and again he felt the pain diminish. I am beginning to wonder if I am being graced with a gift. I dont know how I feel about this. I mean if it is true then I will surrender to Gods will and become a healer if that is to be my path, but I still feel mighty uncomfortable with any such label. To be a healer is a great responsibility. Anyway I am not here yet. I give hugs and do a bit of Reiki when need be, and I will leave it at that for now. It would be amazing to alleviate peoples suffering through a simple loving touch. Imagine what a great honor that would be.

Healing Love

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 22:07:00 -0700

I open my heart to you because I want to live in a more loving world!

The exercises that I have been practicing to expand the energy flow in me has been bearing fruit as I have been allowing myself to do some healing with loving energy on people who need it. A woman who came for a hug this afternoon had a protective cover on one of her eyes, that seemed to be shut and slightly swollen. I asked her if she wanted me to do a bit of Reiki on it. With her consent I placed my left palm behind her head and my right one just over her eye. I closed my eyes and for the next 5 minutes opened my heart to the healing energy of love and let it flow from my heart, into my palm through her eye. I did not feel much sensation so I was surprised when she said that she was feeling a great deal of warmth and a tingling vibration in her eye. She thanked me and left. I thought nothing more of it. Later in the evening she returned to express her gratitude as and her eye felt so much better in fact I could see through the clear covering that her eye was now open. She said that I had a gift and wanted to offer me money in gratitude but I refused, I mean how could I accept payment for work that is Gods doing. I was just happy that the little that I did help her feel better.

A few times over the summer I have done some healing work of this nature but I always feel self conscious about doing this in public. I dont see myself as a healer, but obviously my action helped alleviate someones suffering. After reflecting on this and discussing it with Jade I have decided that should the situation arise again I will do what must be done.

Bad Movies & Great Hugs

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Mon, 15 Aug 2005 22:05:00 -0700

Make hugging a habit, its good for the soul!

Spent the morning in a sound studio doing voice for a really bad, but I mean really, really bad movie. There were several actors there and it was a lot of fun playing scientists, tv reporters, Russian sailors, American pilots and the such. These group voice dubbing sessions, which we call walla are always lots of fun.

Went out hugging later in the day and enjoyed a very calm evening. After the healing Reiki and Pranic cleaning that Jade did for me last night I feel very soft and open. I really noticed the difference as I dealt with several situations that annoyed me in a very gentle and self a firming manner. One man kept calling me a Gigolo as I was hugging a young woman. I very gently told him that his comments were insulting not only to me but to the young woman as well and if he did not appreciate what I was doing that he kindly refrain from being rude. I invited him for a hug but he refused and left, only to return a little while later for a conciliatory hug at the insistence of his children who had all come to hug me earlier. It was a nice moment and I appreciated the gesture of apology. There were several other moments that I handled in the same way throughout the evening that ended on a positive note. A smile and a firm but gentle demeanor can solve many problems. I am no longer responding to aggression with aggression, sarcasm with sarcasm. It is comforting to recognize the changes in ones self as one evolves into a more whole individual. I look forward to the day when facing adversity with equanimity and compassion is a natural extension of my self. Today was a happy day.

Time to Shop

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 21:52:00 -0700

Its a gray rainy day just perfect for being lazy and hanging out with my sweetie. We went wandering downtown, to shop and catch a movie. Saw Wedding Crashers, it was a lot of fun. It was rather strange for me to be in public in my street clothes milling about like everyone else. I ended up buying some very comfortable shoes and loafers as well as some very hip shirts. Ive wanted nice loafers for years, and now I have some. I dont really care about fashion but my girl likes me to wear stylish clothes for her so when ever we are out together, which has not been that often these past 4 months she will drag me into a mens boutique and have me try stuff on. Invariably I always end up leaving with a new something or other. It makes her happy so that whats important. Personally I am not a materialistic person and I could care less about what is in or not. I generally wear what makes me feel comfortable. I prefer simplicity to flash. I can be quite happy with very little, in fact the less I own the happier I am.

Hug Eachother

info@huggerbusker.com (The Hugger Busker) — Sat, 13 Aug 2005 22:51:00 -0700

Come on, share a hug! If not with me then at least with eachother!

This was a successful message I wrote today as I noticed that many people reacted to it. I often hear positive reactions from the saying that I write, but this time people reacted with action. Many people would hug each their friends or loved ones after reading my blackboard, and many of those did not come to me for a hug. That is a wonderful thing as it is important that people dont forget to be loving with they cherish. It is fine to say I Love You or I Care About You but to show it puiblicly is even more meaningful to the one that receives it and of course fulfilling to the one who initiates the gesture. This proves that sometimes the written word can be a powerful tool. However I still believe that the most powerful force for realization and transformation is direct action.

I noticed that about a third of the recipients of these spontaneous hugs did not return or respond to the hug, even amongst family members. I watched a father enthusiastically hug his two teenage sons who both reacted with extreme unease to the situation. That is very sad and I am certain that many parents feel saddened if not hurt by the discomfort that many teens feel about showing affection towards them. I certainly remember that I was like that with my parents when I was a teen. I dont know what the discomfort is that we have with our parents at that age. Maybe it is a struggle to find our independence and prove to ourselves and others that we are adults in spite of our immaturity. I have also noticed that these familial hugs are most often not given in a heartfelt manner but rather as a habitual token of affection. No wonder so many youth and adults alike find my hugs so special and comforting as I real put my heart into each and every one of them.