07 - 08, 2005

I have an urge, an uncontrollable urge to embrace life!

This saying was written especially for this evening, which was to be my very first paid gig as The Hugger Busker. I was hired to give Free Hugs to a group of 2000 Urologist from around the world, who had gathered in Montreal for a week long convention. Tonight was their opening night Gala event, held in the main hall of the Windsor Train Station. It is a gorgeous building with a high glass ceiling, marble floors and curved staircases. The organization had forgotten to plan for a suitable place with lighting for me so I had to forge my own place amongst the countless tables and thematic events that filled the hall.

It was a festive evening with many quirky performers and musicians roaming about. The mood of the crowd was celebratory and cheerful. For my part, I was mostly a curiosity at first standing there in my stillness but slowly people began to come for hugs and then the word spread. People would bring their friends over and so on. I had placed myself in the center of the hall for the first part of the evening but once the sun set I found myself not very well lit, so when I noticed people beginning to leave I high tailed it to the main doors, where there was plenty of light. This spot also afforded me access to every guest as they left. It turned out to be a very wise move as I was able to bid the guests a good evening and offer them a parting hug before they left. This worked quite well and I believe that the organizers were very pleased with my initiative. I also enjoyed myself immensely with the role that I had taken, as the official greeter of the event. It pleased me that not only the guest indulged in my hugs but so did the other performers and the serving staff as well. In my embrace everyone became a VIP.

When I am loving and kind my world becomes a sanctuary of peace!

Well I was as loving as I could possibly be but in spite of my best intentions the world around me was becoming more and more chaotic. A few hours after I arrived at the Square a disturbingly loud and obnoxious demonstration across the street, in front of City Hall extinguished any tranquility that was there. So for a good 5 hours the demonstration that was supposed to shake up the mayor and all the city council members and inform them of the vast amounts of poison ivy in the city parks, did nothing more them annoy and aggravate the world at large. They did not get the mayor's attention but they certain got everyone else’s, as their volume 10 rebel music and incessant wail of an air raid siren made the life of every one else in the neighborhood untenable. I just don’t understand demonstrations that try to annoy, aggravate and bully for change. Who would really listen to someone who tries to shove their complaints down your throat. I certainly would not. In fact if at first I sympathized with their cause they certain made it so that after a few hours I became too disturbed by their tactics to care about their cause.

In the mid 90’s I was president of the Montreal branch of ACTRA, the Canadian actor’s guild , for several years so I do understand the struggle for a seemingly just cause. Still the idea of ‘lets pester and disrupt our opponent so much that they will give us what we want just so that we go away, a tactic that seems to be a favored by many of our labor organizations, is not only childish and counter productive, but also shows a complete disrespect for the concept of a civil, democratic society.

Having been the victim of bulling and intimidation during much of my childhood and early teens I take a very dim view on those who use fear and intimidation to get their way. As far as I am concerned bullies are spineless, arrogant, self centered cowards. I try not to judge others but these types really get my goat and I am quick to put them in their place when they turn their ugly face my way.

By loving you I learn to love myself!

It is difficult to let go, to surrender to the nature of being. There is always that impulse to control my environment, to control the outcome of events rather then allow myself the joy of discovering the unknown. To love others, friends and strangers alike, unconditionally has been a great challenge for my ego, for that part of me that seeks to control everything as it forces me to accept the human nature of another with out judgment, to embrace the perfect beauty of their imperfection. To recognize that their imperfections are also my own and to love them as they truly are I am loving myself as I am. By accepting the fullness of my human nature, the divinity of my being I will then have the capacity to appreciate the sacredness of all beings before me. Our wrapping may be different but we share the same fears, needs, suffering and longings. How can I then not love unconditionally . Oh how difficult it is to just abandon myself to the being of God that I am, that we all are. My greatest fear and my greatest desire is to surrender to the current of life and to simply BE!

This is the language of the heart, utterly divine but absolutely human!

It was a none stop day for hugs and loving! A day that fills me with exuberant joy! How happy and content I am when giving and receiving love, tenderness and comfort. To see others laugh and be joyful because of my actions, to laugh and be joyful myself because of the delight I witness in others is what meaningful living is to me. How grateful I am for this day, for this life, for this continuing inspiration.

Gabriel and Alanah and their parents visited several times today , their last day in Montreal. In the evening before they left we shared a beautiful family hug. They were a genuinely loving family, comfortable and open in their affection and love for one another. I was touched by their authentic appreciation of living a loving life. They seemed to be a happy family, happy to be a family. I wish that there were more families like that around.

Tenderness, affection, caring, kindness, love are all borne from the human heart and can only blossom when acted upon. For it is the act itself of being kind, caring, loving… that gives meaning to being human, that brings us closer to the Divine within and lets us experience the enveloping warmth and soothing touch of God’s breath.

Though I embrace the serenity of my stillness, I’d much rather embrace you!

Today was Willy Wonka Day! Twas a day where I was showered with yummy lolylpops and gooey bonbons. Throughout the day children kept bringing me sweet offerings as a token of affection. Two of these children, Gabriel and Alanah just could not get enough of hugging me. They came running into my arms countless times through out the past several days. As I, their parents were amazed at how much they were enamored with me. I loved the fact that these children were uninhibited in displaying their affection. I remember the first time they approached me little Alanah was too shy to come, she even seemed a little intimidated, it was not until her older brother hugged me that she ventured forth. After that it became a hug fest for both of them. Their parents must have thought that the children were disturbing me by coming so often for endless hugs, even when I had a crowd around me. I was not disturbed in fact I was delighted as they were a wonderful inspiration and no doubt a fine example to others at how joyful the sharing of unconditional love can be. I cherished their candy and their hugs as much as I did their unrestrained exuberant loving natures.

In stillness I embrace the joy of being, in hugging you I embrace the joy of living!

A group of girls who were part of a Christian dancing choir offered to sing for me. It was wonderful to receive such a heartfelt gift. It always moves me to tears when other artists are so touched by my work that they reciprocate in kind. Spontaneous acts of creative kindness that is what I like to call this. Imagine a singer, musician, classical actor spontaneously performing to an impromptu crowd on a busy street for a few minutes and then walking away after the applause. That would be a gesture of creative kindness. As we all need witness and be touched by the beauty of a heartfelt song, a cheerful tune or a moving poem. A performer’s offering of sharing love through his art.

Yes, I give heartfelt hugs, but if you don’t want one please don’t disturb my art.

I had lunch with a friend and ended up getting to place Jacques Cartier a few hours later then usual. It seems that a woman and her daughter had been waiting for me for over an hour hoping that I would show up. They were visiting Montreal and had hugged me several times over the past week, but today was their last day before returning home and they wanted to hug me one last time. Their patience paid off as I arrived and they got to share a very nice hug with me. The woman left a letter in my tin. It was beautiful letter of appreciation and support. It was a wonderful way to begin the day, however I was feeling a bit fragile and I did not feel up too being bothered by people who didn’t want hugs but wanted to poke me or try and disturb my stillness. There are times when I am so comfortable in my stillness that I want to hang a sign that says 'Do Not Disturb! Unless you want a hug."
The rest of the day I felt not as connected as usual. I wonder if it is just my being used to the flow of energy with in that now I am less aware of it, because the people I hug still seem to feel the power of my energy when I hug them.